Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
