I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
