I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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