i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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