I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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