home. puking in laundry basket.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
