she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
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