Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
