...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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