She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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