Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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