My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
