KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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