It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
