hotel room ftw
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
