conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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