you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
