Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
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He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
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You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize