2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
