she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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