I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
When did angry sex become our thing?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
