my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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