no. you can't hotbox the world.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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