I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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