Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
