He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
