lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
