eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think people are normalizing furries
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
