i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
