His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
