Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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