I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Randomize
