I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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