let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
