my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
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