I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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