"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
