Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
