Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
