you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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