Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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