I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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