My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
