do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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