True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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