We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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