yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
