I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
