so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
