My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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