So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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