When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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