just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
