We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize