hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Randomize