Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my life...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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