I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
