Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
