Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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