This girl is more easily done than said...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
