when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Randomize