my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
