We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
