Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
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