you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
