Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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